Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Best Gifts for Your Boss

Let's get real - no one really likes their boss. I mean, we tolerate them. Barely. But even bosses have feelings - not ours, but we're sure yours does - and you should celebrate their existence with a gift. It could be worse - your boss could leave and you could get a WORSE boss.

Again, not us - our boss is so very horrible.

We wanted to give you a few gift ideas for your boss, something that shows her/him how much you care!


1. DEODORANT


What's the best way to tell your boss they stink, while at the same time offering a solution? Deodorant! It doesn't matter what kind, just something to help the stench they leave when they walk by your cubicle. As an alternative, you can always hang a car air freshener around their neck.


2. AN URBAN DICTIONARY


Does your boss give you a weird look when you tell them their new clothes "slay"? Or do you get question marks back when you message your boss "FYI" or "ICYMI"? Get them an Urban Dictionary and never have that problem again! Just be aware that they're now going to know what you're saying when you message them "GFY"...

3. [A] CLUE


We're sure your boss is an idiot. So when you buy them a copy of this game, they'll probably think "Wow, my employee really likes me - she/he bought me this awesome game!" In reality, you and the rest of your coworkers will be snickering and get the joke.

4. BREATH MINTS


If your boss' breath is anything like ours, it smells like an elephant died 3 weeks ago in the hot sun after ingesting 20 pounds of fermented garlic. Slide a box (or a case) of these across the desk to them. We guarantee it'll help keep your own lunch down every afternoon.

5. PLANE TICKETS


Send your boss on a trip - out of the country! We suggest a cruise in Somalia, or a sightseeing tour of cannibal tribes in the Amazon. Also, just buy a one way ticket and photocopy it so it looks like two. Not only will that save money, once your boss is gone and you cancel all her/his credit cards, chances are they won't be coming back for a long, long time.