A Ninja Living in the Mr. Robot World

You all know the television show Mr. Robot. If you don't know it, don't worry... it will all make sense soon. Anyway, after the Yahoo data breach we think it's important to talk about digital security and our place in the world of business and communication. I mean, Rami Malek won an Emmy for his performance in Mr. Robot so of course we should listen to his character Elliot - the world depends on it. Business - I mean life - depends on it.

"[We are] spamming each other with our running commentary of bullshit, masquerading as insight, our social media faking as intimacy."

Really. How many more rants do we need to see on social media about politics, whiny boyfriends, your cubicle-mate's smelly lunch, or your client's ridiculous requests? Maybe it's time to unplug. Social media is eroding our society and sucking the soul out of us all. So - delete it all. No more Facebook timeline, no more insta filters, and no more Snapchat faces. Purge and focus on the important things IRL.

"There's a powerful group of people out there that are secretly running the world. I'm talking about the guys no one knows about, the ones that are invisible."

Sounds like all those years of hard work and no recognition doesn't matter! You actually rule the world and you can feel good about that. So keep typing, clicking and creating away. One day someone might bring you a crown [read: cookie]. 

"We're all living in each other's paranoia."

Now's the time to change all your passwords. Actually, we think you should change them at least 3 times a day. Go ahead, set the alarms on your phone as a reminder and then in a week, change the alarm times. They're watching. 

"No rest for the wicked."

That overtime? Working through lunch? Do you think Jett took a break? DB definitely didn't (we're honestly not sure what he does). So don't move further than a finger's click away from your computer. And if you're lucky someone might feel bad for you and bring you that last donut from the break room. Or not.

"I wanted to save the world."

Of course your work is making a difference. You're saving lives, making the world a better place. Every day we're closer to peace on Earth and solving world hunger and curing all the diseases. That's you. Pat yourself on the bat. Hero? You're a Ninja Hero.

Ninjas of the Week

It's that time again! No, not Naked Friday. It's time for the Ninja of the Week! Actually, it can be both things. Knock yourselves out.

5. Yip Pin Xiu

Singapore paralympic swimmer Yip Pin Xiu has won 2 gold medals at the 2016 Paralympics - one for the 100m Backstroke, and one for 50m Backstroke. She's the first local athlete in Singapore to win multiple medals. She's a rockstar, and definitely deserves a NOTW callout!

4. Corey Feldman

via GIPHY
Maybe Corey Feldman is a ninja. You know, ninjas are often considered weird, and do things that - out of context - might seem odd. That's about the only explanation we've got for Feldman's appearance on the Today Show with his new band this week. His dancing was a cross between Michael Jackson and Criss Angel. If, you know, both of them were drunk. At least it was... entertaining?

3. Russian Kitten

We dare you to watch this video and not cringe. This poor kitten was stuck on a Russian highway for THREE AND A HALF MINUTES in traffic, dodging cars like a... well, like a ninja. Finally, the kitten gets saved by a good samaritan who pulls over and rescues it from certain death.

2. Ants

Don't get us wrong - we hate ants. Like, HATE them. But you have to give them props for the way they work together and get stuff done. I wish our office was that efficient! Check out the article for not only facts about ants, but how to eliminate them from your office. The first step is not leaving any Red Vines behind at the end of the day...

1. Gideon Hodge

Man runs into burning home in Broadmoor for laptop with 2 completed novels @theadvocateno https://t.co/CQaRYrzwot pic.twitter.com/khIqc8Cr6F

— Matthew Hinton (@MattHintonPhoto) September 15, 2016

There's pretty much nothing in the Office Ninja office that we'd run back in to get if there was a fire - including our boss Daryl. But Gideon Hodge had not one but TWO completed novels on his computer, and no backup! So he fearlessly (stupidly?) ran back into his burning house to retrieve his laptop. If you learn nothing else from this post, back your stuff up in the cloud. We're sure our boss does that... with all his porn. Hence: DB.

Watch Office Ninja on Amazon or else you'll never get our inside jokes.

Ninja Sports

We here at Office Ninja Central love basketball. We can't get enough of it. Except Steve. He's not into sports. We're firing him soon. Anyway, we thought we'd give you our 5 favorite basketball players, ninja style - the player's last names spell out NINJA!

Nowitzki, Dirk

Dirk is a German player who has helped lead the Dallas Mavericks to 15 NBA Playoffs. He's also the first European player to play in the All-Star game. His mother was also a professional basketball player, and he just re-signed with the Mavericks for 50 million dollars! That's almost twice as much as we get paid...

Iverson, Allen

Allen Iverson is retired now, but he spent 15 years playing, most of those with the Philadelphia 76ers. His score-per-game average is 2nd only to Michael Jordan in playoff games. Obviously, he's in the Hall of Fame. Steve in our office is good at scoring too, but that's actually what's getting him fired...

Nash, Steve

Steve Nash, a Canadian basketball player, was an 8 time All-Star in his 19 year NBA career. He's considered one of the best shooters in the NBA, and on top of that, he's one of the most philanthropic people in the sport - Time magazine named him in the Top 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2006.

Jordan, Michael

Do we really need to introduce Jordan? He's the greatest basketball player of all time. All. Time. Heck, the word "Nike" is synonymous with "Jordan." He's won the MVP Award 5 times, he has the highest regular season scoring average. He's second only to Babe Ruth as the "Best Athlete of the Century." He spent all his years with the Chicago Bulls - he even retired and then came back for 3 years! Would YOU come back to your job post-retirement? 

Abdul-Jabbar, Kareem

Kareem spent most of his years with the Los Angeles Lakers, and played 20 seasons total in the NBA. He's one of the 50 Greatest Basketball Players of All Time, and at the time of his retirement, he led the NBA in points scored, games played, minutes played, field goal attempts, shots blocked... there's more, but you get the picture. Here in OUR office, we're first in staples removed, copies collated, beers chugged... uh, forget about that last one.

Ninjas of the Week

We know, it's Friday. The last place you want to be is behind your desk, your smelly boss breathing over your neck about that report you have no interest in finishing before you leave. We totally get it, because OUR smelly boss is standing over OUR shoulder, making us work every second up until 5pm. So let's talk about some people who don't have to work crappy jobs with smelly bosses.

5. ROMEO THE DOG

Romeo was stuck in the rubble, a victim of the Italy earthquake. But did he give up? Heck no! A ninja has to stay calm in tense situations, and save energy for when it's needed. Romeo barked for 9 days until officials found and freed him, and he was back with his owners with nary a scratch. What we want to know is what he ate while he was stuck in there for over a week. On second thought, we DON'T want to know...

4. TOM HOLLAND

Actor Tom Holland, also know as the new Spider-Man, is secretly a ninja in disguise. Tom, guided by his trainer, completed a sweet ass flip and spin while training to be what we think will be the best web-slinger ever. And he makes it look easy! I mean, we could totally do that move. If, you know, we ever put the box of donuts down.

3. VICTOR ORTIZ

Police officer Victor Ortiz risked his own life to save someone else's. Officer Ortiz pulled a man off of the New Jersey Transit train tracks RIGHT BEFORE the train came barreling through. Not only did he save the other man's life, he put his own in danger - he could have easily been pulled under the train himself! Officer Ortiz is a true hero, and ninja AF.

2. LINDA BURNEY

Linda Buney became to first indigenous woman to join the Australian House of Representatives this week. She was sworn in Wednesday. "If I can stand in this place, so can [other Aboriginal Islanders] — never let anyone tell you, you are limited by anything." A ninja not only stands up for what's right, they don't let anything keep them from their goals. We can't think of a better example than Linda.

1. JESSIE GRAFF

It's not enough that stuntwoman Jessie Graff is the stunt double for freaking Supergirl herself, Melissa Benoist, she's now the first female contestant to complete the Stage 1 obstacle course of the finals of American Ninja Warrior! I'm not sure that words can do her amazing performance justice, you just have to watch the video. She might be the baddest ass ninja we've ever had the privilege of covering on our site. Congratulations, Jessie!!

That's it for this week. Hopefully we killed enough time that your boss went to the bathroom and you can sneak out. Have a great holiday weekend, see you next week!!

Top 5 Ninja Songs

We here at Office Ninja Headquarters love music. We listen all the time, sharing Apple Music playlists and doing what we can to drive our boss nuts by playing the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat for 8 straight hours. We figured we'd share the best songs we've come across about or inspired by ninjas with the rest of you!

5. Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkle

What better anthem for ninjas than a song about silence? This hit from the 60s is perfect ninja'ing music, and stands up remarkably to the test of time. And Garfunkel was the perfect ninja - we're sure he inspired John Oats from Hall & Oates...

4. Songs About Ninjas - Everyman

This is actually an album title, but we recommend all these folk/acoustic rock songs on your ninja playlist. This album is perfect for some late night ninja stalking. Or you know, rummaging through your boss' desk after hours.

3. The Grand Duel (Parte Prima) - Luis Bacalov

This track from the Kill Bill 2 soundtrack is perfect ninja fighting music - play this and you'll be Uma Thurman in no time! We take no responsibility for broken furniture, limbs or loss of work. The last person to play this in our office was Scotty. His funeral was lovely.

2. Ninjas - Christophe Beck

From the Elektra soundtrack, this is one of our favorites when we're in the office. This instrumental track from the movie gets you pumped for ninja activities - especially at work. The last time we blasted it around here, Lee in Accounting accidentally got impaled with a throwing star. We're still not sure where it came from...

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme

How could we NOT include the most famous ninja song of all time?! This pop tune is the epitome of ninja songs, we dare you not to sing it while you're listening. In fact, send us video of you singing it - leave a link in the blog comments or tag us on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook with the hashtag #OfficeNinjaSongs!

Ninjas of the Week

It's that time again, when we celebrate the people and animals that did something ninja-worthy this week - something that helps them stand out from the rest of us mortals who can barely eat our nachos without spilling cheese on our shirts. So let's get started!

5. NASA

Astronauts Kate Rubins and Jeff Williams completed a 5+ hour space walk this morning, and installed a parking space at the International Space Station. A parking space. FOR OTHER SPACESHIPS. The walk was broadcast live on NASA's YouTube channel. lt's crazy enough to think we're only a few years away from robot cars, but casual space travel blows our minds!

4. TUFTS-LOVE REX

Two paleontologists in Montana this week discovered an entire Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton buried in a mountain. The 66 million year old dinosaur is a rare find - there are only about 15 T-Rex skeletons found in the world. The 2,500 pound head was transported to University of Washington’s Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture in Seattle for display. Starting tomorrow through October 2nd, you can view it at the museum. Paleontologists Tufts and Love are still working on the rest of the skeleton, which is only 20% uncovered. I'm pretty sure no other ninja in history has been able to stealthily hide for 66 million years...

3. BART THE DOG

Bart's football went in the pool. Like a lot of dogs, Bart doesn't want to get wet. But he really wanted that football. So Bart, channeling his inner ninja, decided to take a raft out to rescue that ball. We should all take a page from Bart's book - a ninja always finds a way.

2. AMY SCHUMER

Amy Schumer released her new book this week, Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo, and its a great read into the mind of a woman who is definitely a ninja at empowering other girls and women - not taking crap from media and her haters, and just being herself, which means not apologizing for who she is and what she does. Congrats to Amy on her new release, and on being one of the funniest women in Hollywood.

1. USAIN BOLT

What can we say about Usain Bolt? He's literally the fastest man on Earth. He's so fast, he has time to joke with Canadian sprinter Andre De Grasse during a heat, while the other two runners look like they're about to die. Usain deserves both of his Rio Olympic gold medals, and we salute him as the fastest ninja alive.

If this doesn't motivate you today, we don't know what will. Maybe those nachos?

Office Olympics for the Win!

We here at Office Ninja Central have been paying close attention to the 2016 Rio Olympics this week – we actually haven’t gotten anything else done, and we’re a bit worried the boss is going to be angry. Just a few minutes ago, he walked in and gave us this face.

So we figured we should get to work… BY HOLDING OUR OWN OFFICE OLYMPICS! We’ve got five events to compete in and may the best office athlete win! Because we like you, and we don’t want to be the only office slacking off, we thought we’d share the events with you, in case you want to compete with your coworkers! Oh and Office Ninja takes no responsibility for the shenanigans we're about to explain. Compete at your own risk. Bonus points if the winner is named Simone.

Target Shooting

Take your best stapler, load that baby up, and pin up a picture of the boss across the office. Then, open up the stapler and aim for her/his face—uh, I mean tie. Aim for the tie. Closest to the target wins!

Chair Races

Take two chairs with wheels out to a tiled hallway, preferably wide enough for the chairs to race side-by-side. Otherwise, race them one at a time and best time wins. Bonus points if the boss comes around the corner and you take him/her out.

Coffee Mug Relay

This works best if the coffeemaker is on a different floor. Athletes start the farthest point away from the coffee, and race towards the coffeemaker. Your teammate, once you arrive, has to make the coffee from scratch – no using yesterday’s old sludge, save that for the boss – and then passes a full mug of coffee to a third teammate, who has to get it back to the start without spilling more than 10% of the coffee. I suggest picking someone wearing a nice crisp white dress shirt for the final leg.

Pommel Desk

This works best using the desk of the coworker you like least. Throw all their stuff on the ground, and attempt your best pommel horse routine using their computer as the pommel. Extra points are awarded if the employee whose desk you’re using reports you to HR and you finish your routine before they show up. Don't forget to stick your landing and smile!

Competitive Eating

Two athletes have to eat the oldest items in the company refrigerator, racing for fastest time possible. Vomiting is automatic disqualification, but you get a bonus point if the item is so completely covered in mold you can’t tell what it is. Blue cheese doesn't count.

Good luck, may the force be with you, and go for the gold!

Olympic Ninjas - Let the Games Begin!

We're back with another post about Olympic Ninjas from Team USA given that today is the Opening Ceremony for the Rio Olympics. Are you ready?! We are. And we know our Ninjas are also ready. So who are we featuring this week?

Sam Mikulak - Men's Gymnastics - USA

After breaking both ankles (ouch!) and a torn achilles over the years, Sam is back on the floor and ready to compete as one of five men on the USA Men's Gymnastics team. The competition begins tomorrow so don't miss it! He's competing in the individual competition as well as the team competition. It's been 32 years since the USA Men's team has won gold so let's make sure we are all sending these Ninjas our support.

“Sam is one of the most balanced gymnasts in the world. Some athletes are great in four events and two events they are average, and that eventually pulls them down. Sam is balanced on all six events. To me, that is magnificent. He has the difficulty and execution. I still can’t figure out why he has not had the consistency. I don’t get that.” - Olympican Bart Conner read more here

Men's Gymnastics begins tomorrow, Saturday, August 6th. 

 

Carlin Isles - Men's Rugby - USA

Known as "the fastest man in rugby", Carlin Isles is leading the charge to US gold. Apparently the last time Rugby was played in the Olympics the US won... but that was in 1924. So let's do it again! This time it's seven on seven and we've got Ninja Isles. Our first game, USA vs. Argentina is Tuesday, August 9th at 9am PST.

Jillion Potter - Women's Rugby - USA

You know you're a Ninja when you break your neck, recover, get diagnosed with cancer, recover, and then compete in the Olympic games. That's Jillion Potter. If that doesn't speak about resilience we don't know what does. She is ready to go and I would say that Fiji should be shaking in their boots because their first game against us (and Jillion) is tomorrow, Saturday, August 6 at 9am PST!

Paige Railey - Women's Laser Radial (1 person dinghy) - USA

She's won every other big competition/title there is so now it's all about topping it off with an Olympic Medal. Can she do it? This sailor competed in London 2012 finishing 8th and since then she's won gold in the 2015 Pan American Games and silver in the 2016 World Championship Experience. So she's poised to place and we'll be watching this Sea Ninja do her thing on August 8th.

Carli Lloyd - Women's Soccer - USA

This is soccer player Carli Lloyd, not volleyball player Carli Lloyd - she exists too. Yes, crazy. We're amped about Women's Soccer and one big reason is that they are the World Cup Champions and if (when!) they win Gold, it will be the first time in history that a team has held both titles at the same time. And if you remember, Women's Soccer has won the last four Olympic Gold Medals... let's not get cocky though, there's quite a few games to play before this history-making team can celebrate. Their first game is against France on Saturday, August 6th at 1pm PST.

What's Happening August 23rd?

What's happening August 23rd? Well a lot of things are happening. I'll let you be the judge as to what is the BIGGEST thing to happen on that day. 

Buttered Corn Day!

I know what you're thinking: another "national" day of ridiculousness. I'm with you. However, we're actually okay with this because a version of buttered corn is popcorn and we're a movie and there's no better way to spend movie time than with a bowl of buttery popcorn goodness.

Hug Your Sweetheart Day!

We can be down with this celebration, too. Cuddling with your loved-one over a movie and popcorn? This day is sounding better and better!

National Spongecake Day!

Hmm, more food. Spongecake. Who makes this stuff up?!

Ride the Wind Day!

Ninjas definitely ride the wind. How else do you think they sneak in and get their job done without invisible gusto? We can totally rock Ride the Wind Day.

Office Ninja on iTunes Day! 

Okay, fine. It's not a national day but it is a big deal day to us. Office Ninja will available on iTunes on August 23rd and that's a reason to celebrate! So grab your buttered popcorn, your sweetheart, some spongecake (I guess) and ride like the wind onto your couch to watch Tomas "handle" his co-workers with the ways of the Ninja. Mark your calendars now. Do it before your hands are a buttery mess.

Comic-Con Ninjas

In honor of San Diego Comic-Con this weekend, we searched for some of the best ninjas on Instagram for you. These are some hardcore cosplayers... or are they? We suspect a few of them might be actual ninjas...

1. 

How do I as a Ninja? #ninja #ninjacosplay #cosplay

A photo posted by 🐿The Squirrel Vigilante🐿 (@stunxx) on Mar 18, 2016 at 7:48pm PDT

This guy's ninja game is strong. Look at those eyes - I know we don't want to run into this guy on a dark street in this getup!

2. 

Can we just stop for a moment and appreciate @adam_from_giant s photography skills??

A photo posted by Quincy (@titansreaperking) on Feb 15, 2016 at 5:10pm PST

This ninja is silent but very deadly. Great use of color, and the pose and location are awesome. We suspect this ninja wouldn't make a sound sneaking up behind you...

3. 

Stay ready 🗡🗡 w/ @rizzydoesit 🗡 📸: @optical.shinobi 🗡 Stay #ninja, my #ninjas 🗡 #shinobi #shinobisyndicate #cosplayer #shinobisean #ninjastyle #shinobisean #ninjacosplay #ninjalife #menofcosplay #conlife #allblackeverything #shadow #shinobisound #ninjafashion #postapocalyptic #ninjashit #sai #swords #nodachi #swordsman #cosplayofcolor #starsofcosplayman

A photo posted by 🕸 Kumo Onigumo 🕸 (@shinobisean) on Jul 16, 2016 at 11:39pm PDT

These are modern day ninjas, complete with some outstanding masks! This location is great too - it looks an awful lot like the 6th Street Bridge in the downtown Los Angeles Arts District. It's the perfect backdrop for these 21st century ninjas.

4. 

Nice to seeing you two.. back to back.. (first time I've went AX back to back) Ahri @bingxuewu and @beikacity white hair ninja girl #animeexpo #AX2O15 #animeexpo2015 #ninjacosplay #cosplay #candid #ax15 #latergram #ahri #candidphotography #character #ignikon #ig #igdaliy #losangeles

A photo posted by Park (@dash8k) on Jul 8, 2015 at 6:21pm PDT

This white-haired ninja from last year's Anime Con looks like she could hypnotize you and then BAM - you're taken out. Love the pattern on the scarf, and the use of red in her costume. And the bracelets are a nice touch!

5. 

Awesome shot of my Urban #Shinobi cosplay @ #ninjacon . 📸: @kuf_spawn . #ninja #cosplayer #swordsman #shinobishogun #shinobi #ninjacon2016 #ninjaconla #ninjas #swordsmanship #conlife #shinobisound #ninjashit

A photo posted by 🕸 Kumo Onigumo 🕸 (@shinobisean) on Jun 6, 2016 at 4:39am PDT

And finally, this urban ninja looks ready for battle - what a great sword and face mask. Also, we love the red mohawk. We suspect it'd be the last thing we'd see before the sword came down...

Tag us on Instagram with your favorite ninja cosplay pics @OfficeNinjaFilm and have fun at SDCC!

Olympic Ninjas

Who else is going to Rio to go for US gold? A few veterans and a few newbies but all are Olympic Ninjas in our comic book.

Michael Phelps - Men's Swimming - USA

Will this water ninja take an even bigger lead in the history books with his already insane standing as most medals by an Olympic athlete ever? Medals? 22. Gold? 18. No biggie. Catch Phelps swimming by us all as he competes in his fifth Olympics. And like the ninja he is, he isn't revealing which events he's swimming just yet.

Claressa Shields - Women's Boxing - USA

She's only lost once. Her record is a whopping 69-1. She's the only returning US boxer (male or female) in a team of Olympic newbies. Well, they have quite a role model to follow. Go T-Rex!

Ibtihaj Muhammad - Women's Saber / Fencing - USA

As the first US athlete to wear a hijab in an Olympic competition, Ibtahaj, is not only going to wow us with her saber skills but she'll make quite a statement by just being herself. She hopes to inspire not only Muslims but people of all races, genders and religions that they can reach their goals too through perseverance.

Kayla Harrison - Women's Judo - USA

Kayla was the first US athlete (male or female) to ever win Olympic Gold in Judo and she's coming back for more. Word on the street is the one to beat Rio is her rival Brazilian Mayra Aguiar. We won't miss this throw down. And of course, since this is a modern martial art we are even more excited to cheer on our Judoka!

Marti Malloy - Judo - USA

Also on the Judo front is Marti Malloy. Side note: she's the only US woman to beat Ronda Roussey in Judo. So not only is she an Olympic medalist returning to the ring but she's got quite a reputation. She was also the first female Judo Captain in college on a team of mostly males. She's breaking barriers and taking names.


Rio is going to be off the hook! Don't miss your chance to root for our ninjas.

Olympic Ninjas

Who are some of the USA Ninja Hopefuls for Rio 2016? We'll highlight our upcoming Olympic Athletes over the next few weeks. You can also find them all at TeamUSA. Let's take a look at some highlights:

Simone Biles - Women's Gymnastics - USA

When you have a floor routine named after you (the Biles) that looks like this - a full-twisting double layout, tucked double-double and double-layout with a half twist - well then I'm not going to doubt you're a ninja. She is the first woman in history to win three consecutive world all-around gold medals. We can't wait to see her compete in Rio!

Gabby Douglas - Women's Gymnastics - USA

Right behind Simone at the 2015 worlds was Gabby. Gabby is back to defend her Gold Medal win from 2012 in the All Around Team and in the All Around competition. Let's see if she can do it again! Have you seen her on the bars? Well it's a sight to see so don't miss it. 

Jordan Windle - Men's Diving - USA

Jordan Windle will attend his first Olympics this year on the dive team. 

His favorite dives are the 103B: a forward 1 ½ somersaults in the pike position and the 5253B: backward 2½ somersaults with 1½ twists. Whaaa? Also of note: Jordan's idle is Greg Louganis and Louganis is even mentoring the dive team for Rio 2016! Jordan's teammate David Boudia, defending gold medalist, is the one to beat. Will Jordan do it? This is going to be a fun one to watch!

Daryl Homer - Men's Saber Fencing - USA

After reading about fencing in the dictionary he convinced his mother to let him try it out. And here he is, about to enter his second Olympics in Fencing. Daryl is the first US man to win a medal in saber at the Senior World Championships in 2015. We've got our eye on Daryl and his saber!

Mariel Zagunis - Women's Saber Fencing - USA

Entering her fourth Olympics with two gold medals and one bronze, Mariel is a veteran and the most decorated US Fencer in history. In 2004 she became the first U.S. fencer to win an Olympic gold medal in 100 years. We bow down to you, Mariel.

Go Team USA! Office Ninja is cheering you all on from our humble cubicle back in the states.

How to Survive Work in the Summer

It's summertime, the hot sunny weather is calling to you, but you're stuck behind a white wall or a cubicle panel at work. Yeah, paying your bills is important, but who doesn't daydream about having the summer off to frolic in the pool or fall in love around a campfire? Here are some ways for you to survive the summer even from your desk.

Million-dollar View

Most offices don't have a million dollar view - especially if you're not the boss. But there is a way for you to create a view that you can enjoy. We recommend one of two things: put that expensive color printer to use and print a beautiful scene and secure it to the wall above your desk (don't damage the wall!). Or you can download a beautiful scene that you can make your computer desktop image and/or screensaver. Enhance this experience by also playing some soothing summertime sounds, atmospheric noises, or summertime music - cue steel drums and ocean waves! We recommend headphones so you don't upset your co-workers - those summer hating brown-nosers.

Work BBQ Pool Party

I don't know about you but the last thing I want to do is hang with my co-workers at a party outside of work... and if a pool is mentioned I will dive behind my desk. But then you hear that the party is on a Friday afternoon, during work hours, and you're expected to be there. Crap. Well here are some tips: Volunteer to bartend or serve food to avoid participating in games or pool related happenings. This may also keep any mingling to a minimum as you wave people through the food line, "Keep it moving, people!" The more responsibilities you have the less likely you'll be expected to don your bathing suit and play Marco Polo.

Desk Exercises

Sitting at a desk day in and day out keeps you, as our Fitbit would say, sedentary. Being sedentary is basically the beach bod killer. So how are you going to stay fit and healthy when everyone else (it's obvious by their Instagram feed) is sipping margaritas and working on their tan at the beach? Here are some simple tips and exercises you can do at work:

• Sit at your desk properly
• Adjust your monitor
• Stretch
• Magic Carpet Ride
• Wooden Leg
• Take the Stairs (two at a time!)
• Get up and Walk (when you need to share information with co-workers)

For details on these exercises and others check out this Forbes article.

Summer Olympics Office Challenge

Our last suggestion will help keep people happy, healthy, inspire teamwork, and add a fun level of competition. First - get permission. Second - let the games begin!  Here are some ways to plan a Summer Olympics Office Challenge. Split the office up into two teams and create events that your office will find fun! Maybe host one event per day for a week and give points for the winning team:

• Office Chair Relay - create a course for people to race their office chairs
• Paper Wad Basket - each person has 10 wads of paper and the team that makes the most in the basket wins
• Finger Skating - You can use a site like Typing Test to see who can type the fastest and most accurate *Great for remote workers or workers who can't participate in the more physically demanding competitions
• Steady Hand Race - as fast as you can, make your way up two flights of stares carrying a mug of water without spilling
• Chili Cook-off / Closing Ceremonies - who can make the best chili? Have a third-party judge  - winner's team gets points.

Remember to have an award for the winning team! Go Team Ninja!

Where to Watch Office Ninja:

Amazon DVD/Blu-ray -http://amzn.com/B01BPD8JLW

Amazon Streaming - http://amzn.com/B00TF8PJEA/

iTunes - Coming August 2016

Vimeo - https://vimeo.com/ondemand/45617 

Follow on Twitter - https://twitter.com/officeninjafilm

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Ninjas of the Week

5. The United Kingdom

And just like that, the UK voted to leave the European Union. I know the very first thing you're thinking is - what a ninja move! It's been over 40 years since the UK joined the EU and it feels like just overnight they are out. This sneaky move even crippled the stock markets across the globe. What does it leave in it's wake? Only time will tell.

4. Non-Retina MacBook Pro

Like a ninja in the night, the Apple non-retina MacBook Pro has disappeared from shelves across the country. We all knew this day would come I guess. It's been a great run, optical drive laptop, and we remain open-armed for retina displays and solid state hard drives in our laptops from here on out. KIT MU xoxo

3. Cleveland Cavaliers

In the last game of the NBA basketball series, Cleveland defeated the Golden State Warriors, 93-89. This is Cleveland's first major sports title in 52 years. Cavalier means Ninja, right? No? Well it should.

2. Jon Stark

He spearheaded the Battle of the Bastards this week and WOW. If winter wasn't here before, it is now. Jon road fearlessly into that battle and gave it his all despite the numbers and the odds. And once he escaped the trap Ramsay Bolton laid for him, he followed and broke into Winterfell and beat the flesh off of that little bastard. We've haven't been so excited and stressed out watching TV since Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones, you certainly have an arsenal of ninjas.

1. Sansa Stark

Speaking of Game of Thrones and badassery... Sansa Stark finally had her day. She was smart, calculating, and focused. And she finally got to give Ramsay what he deserved and she didn't have to raise a finger. She knew that the only way to rid the kingdom of this evil was to serve him up on a platter for his human eating dogs. NOM.